Relationship and Mindfulness Coaching

"…one thing is true for every one of us… where we end up on the other side of all this will be a direct result of how fearless we dare to be right now....we get to play in the (fun) house of mirrors, clearly seeing the multiple ways in which we are still polarizing ourselves by projecting, reflecting and exposing our remaining loveless parts onto each other."

“One of the purposes of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you’d like to see ”show up”, not what part of another you can capture and hold.”

November 12, 2016

Integrity. The game-changer for tough conversations.

In the last month I’ve had a couple of tricky and confrontational situations with people who are close to me. They have brought with them all […]
June 18, 2015

Escape from Intimacy

I recently read an interesting book about love, sex and romance addiction. It came highly recommended and even though I thought “I’m not a relationship addict”, […]
May 15, 2011

Love is only experienced in giving. Not in getting.

April 20, 2011

Christchurch earthquake

Being a resident of Christchurch, New Zealand I’ve experienced both of the big earthquakes we’ve had recently and have had the great experience of witnessing how […]
October 6, 2009

How to relate when someone else is in pain

I have sympathy for you. I know what you’re going through. You don’t have to feel a certain way just to make me happy. I will […]
October 3, 2009

Different perspectives

[P116] Lets take an example: You stop at a red light on the way home, but the car behind you doesn’t stop and rear-ends you. When […]
October 2, 2009

To listen empathetically

To listen empathetically requires tremendous love and courage. To be empathetic is to fearlessly step in to the feelings of others, whatever they may be. Listening […]
September 16, 2009


[P94] Those in the negative state know best how to hurt others. Instinctively, they know where people are vulnerable. They will hurt you with their attacks. […]
July 21, 2009

Us vs Them

[P104] Exercise: Us vs Them Look for a moment at someone in your life who bothers you. Describe three things about this person that you do […]
July 14, 2009

Non Violent Communication

There are four components to the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) model, as developed by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. This guide can help you to express how you are, or […]
June 16, 2009

Love and relationships

[P115] So now, as parents, spouses and loved ones, seek not to make of your love a glue that binds, but rather a magnet that first […]
June 15, 2009

Loving consciously

[P98] To love another human being is to know and love his or her person. This presupposes a commitment to seeing and understanding the object of […]
May 14, 2009


[P217] How many people give up their dreams and aspirations in deference to the needs and demands of others because they dread the charge of being […]
May 11, 2009

Soulful Relationships

The mindset of empowered relationships So what is the mindset that makes it so much easier to relate to people? Here it is in a nutshell: […]
May 10, 2009

Gary Zukav on Judging

Judging [P270] Until you can acknowledge that you possess the same characteristics you judge harshly in others, you will become enraged, disappointed, angry and contemptuous when […]
May 5, 2009


Pleasing [P171] The desire to please other people is a potent way to distract yourself from what you are feeling. While you are trying to avoid […]
February 22, 2009

Your role in a relationship (exercise)

Here's a cool exercise in “How One of you can bring the two of your together” Complete this sentence in as many ways as seem appropriate. In our relationship, I (use either expect, want, or hope for, whichever seems more appropriate for your sentence) Here are some examples * In our relationship, I want John to be as affectionate and attentive and thoughtful as he was when we were courting * In our relationship, I want us to agree much more on how to treat the children * In our relationship, I want Sam to spend more time at home and take more interest in running the household and taking care of the kids
February 18, 2009

Relationship”Disagreements” exercise

This seems like a great way of getting your partners perspective in a disagreement. Step 1: Both partners argue full out for their own points of […]
February 16, 2009

Sedona Method “releasing about a person” exercise

Another cool exercise from "The Sedona Method" [P 236] The Cleanup Procedure 1. Begin by visualising the face of the person you have chosen to release about. 2. Then ask yourself the following questions one at a time allowing your underlying wants to surface. Start with the set of questions about control and stay with that question until you feel that you can "grant that person the right to be"the way he or she is. Most times, completely letting go is just a decision. If you're open to it, it's possible to reach this point very quickly, but take all the time you need.
February 11, 2009

Relationships and conflict

Unfortunately, often the most natural and automatic response to a difficult situation is precisely the one that is not only ineffective but actually counterproductive. A simple […]
January 15, 2009

How to see others

“Practice seeing each individual person as a greater being than their surface-presentation and that person will have the space to actualise their self-image.” Neale Donald Walsch […]