[P98] To love another human being is to know and love his or her person. This presupposes a commitment to seeing and understanding the object of our love. ” Love” without sight or knowledge is a contradiction in terms. What would it mean to say ” I love you” if I neither see you nor know who you are nor exhibit any desire to do so? It can only mean ” please don’t distract me with the reality of who you are. I am preoccupied with my dream of you”
However, from early in the relationship, we can begin to reflect: What is it about this person that most stimulates and attracts me? What factors are psychological or spiritual and which are physical? What do I like about what this person projects? What do I see in this person’s character that I admire? Do I have any reservations or misgivings? If so, what do they concenr, and how can I check them out? What do I disklike (if anything), and waht importantce does that have form e in the scale of my values? What do we seem to have in common, and why do I think so? In what ways might we be incompatible and why do I think so?
This excerpt was taken from “The Art of Living Consciously” by Nathaniel Branden