Pleasing [P171] The desire to please other people is a potent way to distract yourself from what you are feeling. While you are trying to avoid the displeasure of others, you are in extreme displeasure yourself. You are tense and ready for the worst. Your focus is on other people and what they are experiencing. You ignore you own experiences, except those of anxiety and fear.
[P179] Pleasing prevents you from experiencing your emotions because you are attempting to feel the emotions that other people are experiencing. You becomes lost in the attempt. You feel judged by one, disapproved by another, accepted by a third and so on. You own emotions are inaccessible to you because you are focused elsewhere.
from The Heart of the Soul – Gary Zukav